Narcissism is a syndrome please be aware of the mental traumas of some people since childhood

huma shah
6 min readMay 8, 2024

7 CUNNING Ways, Narcissists use guilt to put one over you, according to psychology

If you’ve ever interacted with a narcissist, you’ll know they have a knack for leveraging guilt to their advantage.

This manipulation can leave you feeling powerless, second-guessing, and even questioning your sanity.

Narcissism isn’t just an inflated ego — it’s a recognized mental health disorder, and dealing with these individuals can be challenging, to say the least.

They may use strategic tactics to induce guilt in you for their personal gain or satisfaction. Unfortunately, these tactics can be incredibly cunning and often hard to spot.

Understanding the psychological mechanisms at play could be your first step to navigating these tricky situations.

So today, let’s dive into 7 cunning ways narcissists use guilt to put one over you, according to psychology:

1) The blame game

“Look what you made me do…”

According to psychologists, narcissists are masters at shifting blame onto others.

Let’s say you’ve had a disagreement with a narcissist. Instead of taking responsibility for their role in the conflict, they’ll turn it around and make it seem like it’s entirely your fault.

They may use phrases like, “If you hadn’t made me angry, I wouldn’t have reacted that way.”

This tactic serves to make you feel guilty for their actions, effectively deflecting attention from their behavior and onto you.

If you aren’t aware, this guilt can become consuming — you end up apologizing and taking on responsibility that isn’t yours to bear.

You might find yourself trying to make amends or even altering your behavior in an attempt to prevent future conflicts.

This type of manipulation is a powerful tool in a narcissist’s arsenal. It allows them to avoid accountability while simultaneously gaining control over your emotions and actions.

By recognizing this tactic, you can begin to see through their manipulative ploys and protect your emotional wellbeing.

2) The silent treatment

Narcissists are also notorious for using the silent treatment as a form of punishment.

It might seem odd that silence could induce feelings of guilt, but that’s exactly what happens.

When a narcissist goes silent, it can be incredibly unsettling. You may find yourself racking your brain, trying to figure out what you did wrong.

The silent treatment is not about the narcissist needing space to cool down, as it might be in other relationships.

Instead, it’s a calculated method of making you feel anxious and guilty, forcing you into a position where you feel like you need to make amends just to restore communication.

3) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a staple in a narcissist’s playbook. It’s a technique where they make you question your own reality, memories, or perceptions.

It’s not merely a disagreement or misunderstanding, but a deliberate act to destabilize your confidence in your own judgment.

A narcissist might insistently tell you something didn’t happen when you know it did, or vice versa.

They might accuse you of being overly sensitive or paranoid when you call out their behavior.

Over time, this can lead to self-doubt and guilt.

According to research, long-term exposure to gaslighting can even lead to mental health conditions like anxiety and depression.

Recognizing when you’re being subjected to it is the first step in countering its damaging effects.

4) Emotional blackmail

Have you ever experienced emotional blackmail? It’s the perfect way for narcissists to use your feelings of love, fear, or duty against you.

For example, a narcissist might say something like, “If you really loved me, you would do this for me.”

This places you in a difficult position where you may feel guilty for not meeting their expectations.

I’ve been there and it’s not an experience I’d ever like to have again.

But what I did learn is how important it is to set boundaries. To make decisions that are in my best interest, not theirs.

If you’re feeling pressured into doing something you’re uncomfortable with, it’s okay to say no. Respecting your own needs and boundaries is a crucial part of maintaining healthy relationships.

It’s not easy to stand up against emotional blackmail, especially when it comes from someone you care about.

But remember, your feelings and well-being matter as much as anyone else’s. You’re not alone and there are resources available to help navigate these difficult situations.

5) Using your weaknesses against you

side from using your love as a weapon, a narcissist also has a knack for finding your vulnerabilities and using them as ammunition.

They know exactly where to hit to get the reaction they want, whether it’s making you feel bad about past mistakes, insecurities, or fears.

Let’s face it, none of us are perfect. We all have things we’re not proud of or insecurities we struggle with.

With a genuine person, sharing these weaknesses is fine — you can feel a sense of safety.

But with a narcissist, it’s the opposite. A narcissist will capitalize on these weaknesses of yours to make you feel guilty and in turn, gain power over you.

While it’s a bitter pill to swallow, understanding this tactic can arm you with the knowledge and strength to stand up against it.

Remember that everyone has weaknesses and it’s not okay for someone to exploit them for manipulation.

You’re more than your past mistakes or insecurities, and it’s time to stand up for yourself.

6) Playing the victim

You know that friend who always seems to have a crisis? Or that coworker who always seems to have been wronged? These could be signs of a narcissist playing the victim.

In this scenario, a narcissist paints themselves as the perpetual victim to garner sympathy and attention.

They spin stories and situations to make it seem like they’re always at the receiving end of injustice.

And as a caring friend or colleague, you feel compelled to support them, often feeling guilty when you can’t live up to their expectations.

You may start blaming yourself for not being there enough for them, even when you’ve done your best.

This is an all-too-common form of manipulation where the narcissist exploits your empathy for their own benefit.

Recognizing the victim narrative can help you set healthier boundaries and preserve your own emotional energy.

7) Excessive guilt-tripping

Sometimes, it can just be outright excessive guilt-tripping.

For instance, I once planned a weekend getaway with my work friends.

I was so excited about it, but then my boyfriend at the time started making comments like, “I guess you don’t care about spending time with me anymore,” or “I see where your priorities lie.”

Suddenly, my much-awaited trip started feeling like a burden. I felt swamped by guilt for wanting to do something for myself.

This is a classic example of a narcissist’s excessive guilt-tripping. They try to make you feel guilty about pursuing interests or relationships outside of them.

The intention behind this is to control and center the relationship around themselves.

Don’t take this tactic sitting down. You have the right to have interests and relationships outside of one individual.

8)Cut the guilt leash

In the world of a narcissist, they’re the puppet master, and you’re on a string, primarily controlled by guilt.

They’ll use this ‘guilt leash’ to pull you back whenever they feel they’re losing control or when they need something from you.

The most important thing to remember is this: Guilt is a powerful emotion, but it should not be the driving force of your actions or relationships.

Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect, understanding, and genuine affection, not manipulation and control.

If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty without a valid reason, take a step back and evaluate the situation.

It’s vital to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Don’t let anyone use your guilt as a leash to control or manipulate you.

Being truly empowered means having the strength to stand up against manipulation, and not letting anyone dictate your worth or emotions.

Here’s to a future of stronger boundaries, healthier relationships, and a more empowered you!

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huma shah

peacelover,blogger,and good human,optimistic thoughts less hate ,more love this world needs. Be generous to everyone you meet is fighting a battle inside..