all of a sudden the worries, traumatic experiences of someone's broken family childhood trauma, fights, and whatever abusive family, distracted, could happen in an indecent family. All who bear their kids, so parenting is a great technique to hold a partner and kids in a manner, it all takes patience, respect, enthusiasm, empathy, and whatever goodness could fill up to own the best family .all is understanding, and communicate well. Put your partner comes first whatever your immediate family members say or do, and don't be distracted by others' opinions, if you feel comfortable, you have trust and you have intentions to be the best parent qualities you may go with your actions.
But It’ll depends on a gentleman, not the boy's mindset.
Man, A positive attitude and positive thinking are two very important qualities in a good man to marry. A man who’s positive by nature will help you stay grounded and make things easier for you when times get tough. He will be able to keep you happy even in the most difficult times.
Of course, you’re not expecting him to be perfect, but he should at least demonstrate the following qualities of a good man.
- Emotionally Available. …
- Vulnerable. …
- Commitment-minded. …
- Respectful. …
- Kind and Loving. …
- Emotionally Intelligent. …
- Good Communicator. …
- Trustworthiness.
. Emotionally Available
You’re looking for someone who will provide you with a steady stream of love and affection. If he goes back and forth from hot to cold, that’s a sign of emotional unavailability. What you will get is a little love and attention for a few days before he pushes you away.
Every Day Is an Emotional Rollercoaster
Have you found yourself extremely happy with everything that’s been going on in the relationship, but then he acts out all weird and you haven’t heard from him in a week?
An emotionally unavailable man can put you through such an excessive emotional rollercoaster, it can be almost exhausting. One day he might be telling you how much he loves you, and the next day he might be telling you that he needs a break from all this.
They do this out of fear — fear that the relationship is going to require him to show emotions, as a human being and they don’t want that.
True, in every healthy relationship each of the partners should take some time for themselves. However, taking a break from your relationship is not a sign of a healthy way of communicating emotion.
3. He’s a Perfectionist
Have you ever heard the sentence “Ugh, that dress just doesn’t look good on you, you need to work up some more?” or something like “Why do you dance that way, you look stupid”
Emotionally unavailable men are seeking perfection for one reason only: they’re deeply insecure.
Since they’re insecure and don’t want to show any sign of vulnerable exposure, they will comfort themselves with the thought that ‘no one is good enough’ and they don’t need to open up to anyone.
I know too many guys who simply won’t meet with a girl they like simply because “ugh, but she definitely has some flaws, so why bother?”
It’s easier to set aside and judge everyone for who they are rather than open up and have a chance for a decent human connection, right?
4. It’s All About Him
If it’s all about their needs, wants, desires, and feelings, this might be a sign of an emotionally unavailable man. For example, you only see each other on his terms or when he’s available.
He doesn’t invest time in the relationship or even forgets important things to you, like birthdays or an issue with your boss that you’ve shared with him.
But it’s not just that. Even when you do see each other, he might seem distant or distracted or not at all interested in whatever you’re sharing with him.
The problem with this kind of self-absorption comes from their way of thinking about superiority, which is just another sign of insecurity.
insecurities are loud
Insecurities are loud in an emotionally available person because of their narcissistic approach .he's actually not doing harm to others but to himself.
5. He’s Keeping Everything to Himself
In a relationship, trust and love are not built solely on talking about each other’s feelings all the time. It’s about sharing every aspect of our lives with our partners, letting them into our lives.
Emotionally unavailable men don’t do this. It’s not only about their lack of sharing romantic emotions with you — it’s about every emotion.
If they had a bad day at work or a horrible fight with a family member, he’s probably not going to share it with you how he actually feels about it.
6. He’s Not Comfortable When You Share Emotions
Here’s one harsh truth — emotionally unavailable men are not in line with their own emotions therefore they’re not able to respond accordingly to your emotions.
It’s like their brain turns on the panic button once you share any kind of emotions and they just want to get out of that new-build situation.
If he’s acting nervous, angry, or frustrated when you share any type of feeling, you might be dealing with an emotionally unavailable man.
7. He Doesn’t Take Responsibility for His Actions
If he made a mistake or said something wrong, he thinks the problem he’s caused will solve it by itself. In other words, he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.
Here’s the thing with these types of men — with the way they are, they’re hurting a lot of people.
Sure, we all hurt someone at one point or the other — no one is perfect.
But the difference between the emotionally unavailable men and the rest of them is that they don’t feel any sorry or regret for any hurt they might cause.
. Bad Behavior with People In General
“I don’t trust anyone who’s nice to me but rude to the waiter”.
When Muhamed Ali said this, he certainly didn’t have emotionally unavailable men on his mind.
9. He’s Always Trying to Flirt with You
Emotionally unavailable men will flirt with you on a regular basis.
Some of them will do this just so they can, once again, prevent their vulnerability from happening.
Others will do it simply because they prefer the chase rather than the catch.
10. There’s Nothing Wrong with Them — It’s Always Other People’s Fault
Men of this kind think of themselves extremely highly. As I already mentioned, they tend to be perfectionists. They also consider themselves flawless and like there’s nothing wrong with them.
This is why convenient for them to always blame others for any problem that occurs. Blaming others gives them a sense of power and control over the situation. Additionally, it gives them justification for their own actions.
How to Deal with a Man Who Always Blames Others
Emotionally unavailable men use manipulation quite often. Next time you notice something like that is happening, point it out immediately. Let him know that you’re aware of his intentions and that you won’t allow being manipulated. And that’s it!
11. He avoids commitment
I don’t think men are truly aware of how it pisses women off when they refuse to label the relationship, at least those of us who prefer to define our romantic interactions. Instead, your guy stays in the gray area, suggesting he wants to be with you but he’s not ready for a relationship.
I reckon this is something someone with an avoidant attachment style would say. They avoid love and emotional intimacy. He also doesn’t want to lose you or have an open relationship while he’s making up his mind. So you’re like caught in a bind and it’s really confusing, unfair, and hurtful. After all, you’re providing all the juicy benefits of a real relationship.
The guy may also avoid conversations about defining the relationship. Let’s be real here. He’s either fearful of commitment or wants a relationship, but not with you. Maybe he doesn’t see commitment as necessary or he’s trying to escape being emotionally hurt again like he was in a previous relationship.
How to Handle a Non-Committal Boyfriend
Some of his explanations for not committing might be valid. For instance, the fear of potentially getting hurt. You know how that feels if someone betrayed you in a past relationship. Other excuses might not add up, like if he says you don’t need a boyfriend and girlfriend label to establish that you’re in a relationship.
He means an uncommitted relationship, by the way. If you haven’t done so as yet, clearly express your need for commitment.
You can give him a timeline to decide, as a supportive gesture…not an ultimatum. Let him know you’re prepared to end the relationship if he won’t commit. What not to do is to become insecure and start chasing after him. He’ll only pull away more. You can’t force feelings and you certainly can’t force him to commit.
Even if he genuinely likes you, his attachment style might get in the way. Hopefully, he comes around. If not, it’s time for boy bye!
12. He Only Has Surface Level Conversations With You
A guy who’s truly looking to connect on all levels will ask about your childhood, family, likes, dislikes, views, goals, and feelings. He’ll also open up about his life as emotionally available men do. This shows that he’s willing to be vulnerable through sharing and receiving private information.
One who’s not trying to bond will keep conversations light and surface level. He might ask about your day, but not about your dreams and desires, or how you’re feeling. The guy doesn’t want to discuss feelings, not his and not yours.
I’ve noticed this behavior in men with avoidant attachment personalities also called fearful avoidants. According to relationship experts, avoidants have a chronic fear of emotional intimacy. It’s funny because they don’t seem to have a problem with physical intimacy.
13. He Can’t Relate to Your Feelings
Some men don’t hesitate to call women crazy if she keeps bringing up the commitment subject. They’ll see your need for a relationship as a desperate move to tie them down and accomplish something nefarious. “What’s wrong with you?” “Why are you acting hurt about me not wanting a relationship?” These are example questions they’ll throw at you.
If you cry over the situation, he may sit there and stare, ask why you’re crying, or leave the room. Seriously?
He doesn’t want to deal with your emotions because he can’t. There’s probably a lack of empathy, meaning an inability to feel how someone else might be feeling.
The guy may also have low emotional intelligence and be unable to pick up on your social cues or connect the dots. Emotional intelligence is a personality trait that helps people see how their thoughts, feelings, and actions affect others.
How to Handle an Inability to Connect with Your Feelings
A guy who is unable to relate to your feelings is not really in a position to be an emotionally supportive partner. You could try to find out why he responds this way and if he’s willing to work on understanding and validating your feelings.
Dismissing your feelings can make you think that you’re wrong for expecting commitment and could end up settling for a guy who isn’t emotionally ready for a serious relationship.
Ask yourself if an emotionally supportive partner is a non-negotiable requirement. If so, then what’s the point of giving yourself to someone who’s unable to or won’t reassure you?
14. He Says He Doesn’t Trust Women
What? Are you still trying to date this guy after he clearly states that? The guy may hold this view out of fear of getting hurt. He’s within his right to not trust women or feel fearful. The question is, how does that apply to you? Why is he trying to date if he’s emotionally unavailable because of a lack of trust?
I’ve experienced this in two separate instances and refused to get involved in a relationship. One of the guys said he didn’t trust women because he witnessed his mother cheating on his stepdad.
While I understood the psychological effects, he had no right to project distrust onto me.
In other cases, saying he doesn’t trust you could be a cop-out or his way of implying that the relationship won’t last. If you stay and he doesn’t commit, he’ll have the perfect defense. He could say you shouldn’t feel upset after he made it clear that he doesn’t trust you (or women as a whole).
How to Handle a Man Who Doesn’t Trust Women.
If someone doesn’t trust you and women, period, that’s not your problem, especially if you’ve never given them a reason to distrust you. It’s unfair for him to bring his emotional baggage from the past and dump it on you.
Tell him you feel hurt over his decision not to trust you based on the actions of other women. It may or may not change his point of view, depending on his level of self-awareness and emotional maturity. Using negative experiences with other women to judge you shows a lack of emotional growth and an inability to see every woman as a separate individual. It’s unfair for you to have to prove you’re trustworthy when you haven’t caused distrust.
Hopefully, he can see your point of view, but it definitely takes a lot of personal development work, and sometimes psychotherapy, to get over relationship trust issues.
15. He Doesn’t Have a History of Serious Relationships(Broken relationships with parents ,Divorces,surroundings environment,company matters)
This particular sign speaks for itself, but let’s dig a little deeper. The big question is WHY. Why is there a lack of committed relationships? Is it that he didn’t want to commit or he wasn’t willing to create emotional bonds and be vulnerable with his exes?
Women who have self-love, self-compassion, and a good sense of self-worth aren’t going to settle for someone who’s emotionally disconnected. They want to be loved, cared for, and emotionally supported by their partner, especially if they’re providing those benefits to him.
On the flip side, the guy might be the one breaking off the relationship before it becomes too serious. I hardly think an emotionally unavailable man will sit the woman down and be honest and open about calling it quits what he’ll likely do is suddenly disappear into thin air (ghosting) or misbehave to sabotage the relationship.
Ask him about the relationship.
Ask why his relationships didn’t work out. Gently broach the topic at a time when he’s talkative and in a good mood. I think this may be the best approach as opposed to speculating, especially since relationships can end quickly for so many other reasons.
Give him the floor and allow him to explain. Look for the answer in the details if he’s beating around the bush. If you sense emotional unavailability, then follow your gut instinct.
Having a suspicious relationship history coupled with other signs of emotional unavailability you’ve noticed in the guy might solve the mystery as to why the relationship isn’t moving forward. What you shouldn’t do is try to fix this guy. That is his responsibility.
Final Thoughts on Emotionally Unavailable Man
When it comes to emotionally unavailable men, it’s never black and white. Truth is, they do have feelings, sometimes even more than usual. The problem is, most of the time, they don’t know how to acknowledge them, express them, or recognize them.
The trick is to know whether a guy is someone who struggles to show his emotions or is someone who will always remain emotionally unavailable. One quick way to find out is if you try to communicate your frustration to a guy and you’re met with complete resistance (or argument), then this is a warning sign that he will probably never change.
If that’s the case, then it might be time to walk away from this relationship.
Unstable, Immature, childhood traumatic experiences and the insecure person only does plays games to counter their insecurities it also comes in how his health is at stake to get pleasure and needs counseling for the rest of the playing games.
