Childhood trumas and it’s inpact on life
“Child trauma” refers to a scary, dangerous, violent, or life-threatening event that happens to a child (0–18 years of age). This type of event may also happen to someone your child knows and your child is impacted as a result of seeing or hearing about the other person being hurt or injured. When these types of experiences happen, your child may become very overwhelmed, upset, and/or feel helpless. These types of experiences can happen to anyone at any time and at any age; however, not all events have a traumatic impact.
Note: Not all overwhelming or life-threatening experiences are considered traumatic. Children interpret their unique experiences differently. A life experience that is traumatic for one child might not be traumatic for another.
What are Traumatic Events?
A traumatic event is a scary, dangerous, or violent event. An event can be traumatic when we face or witness an immediate threat to ourselves or to a loved one, and it is often followed by serious injury or harm (NCTSN Parents and Caregivers Website). When this happens it can cause emotions such as fear, loss, or distress. Sometimes people experience these types of strong negative emotions in reaction to the experience or because the person may not have the ability to protect or stop the event from happening. Reactions to a traumatic event can also have lasting effects on the individual’s daily functioning including possible changes in a child’s mental, physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual health (See traumatic stress below for more information).
The image below illustrates some potentially traumatic events. This is not a comprehensive or complete list. Your child or a child you know may have experienced something that is not on this list, but the event could still qualify as or feel traumatic. But remember, not all events may be considered traumatic for each individual.
The original ACEs study included the following 10 adverse childhood experiences
- Physical abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Physical neglect
- Emotional neglect
- Mother treated violently
- Household substance abuse
- Household mental illness
- Parental separation or divorce
- Incarcerated household member.
What Is Child Traumatic Stress?
If your child has reactions that impact his/her daily life after a traumatic event, these responses are called child-traumatic stress. These reactions may show up in different ways, such as changes in your child’s behavior (such as being irritable, withdrawn, or acting younger than his/her age), difficulties in interactions with others, problems or changes in sleeping or eating patterns, or school performance. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) states, “Child traumatic stress occurs when children and adolescents are exposed to traumatic events or traumatic situations that overwhelm their ability to cope.”
When these stress symptoms develop, they happen automatically (i.e., are not in your child’s conscious control) as your child attempts to manage negative emotions (like fear) that emerge in response to memories of the event. The difficulties or stress symptoms can present immediately or show up later. They may also continue for days, weeks, or months after the traumatic experience and/or may resurface at different periods throughout a young person’s life. Some children may be more susceptible to developing traumatic stress reactions than others.
Signs and Symptoms of Traumatic Stress
When your child experiences traumatic stress, he or she may act in an uncharacteristic or not typical way for him or her. These reactions may continue for days, weeks, or months after the traumatic experience. They also could emerge weeks or months after the event took place. Remember these are normal reactions to your child having survived an overwhelming life experience.
The signs and symptoms of traumatic stress look different in each child and at different ages.
THE “THREE E’s” OF TRAUMA
Another way to understand and define trauma maybe by remembering the “Three E’s of Trauma,” developed by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA).
The “Three E’s of Trauma” are Event, Experience, and Effect.
Event
The “Event” refers to the threat or actual experience of harm which may occur once or multiple times to your child. Some events may include abuse, neglect, the death of a loved one, bullying, broken marriages, Divorce from parents, Continuing fights, and continuing abuses, physical or verbal may be affecting a child's mental health continuously and it makes them a serious threat on coming relationships in life.
Experience
The “Experience” refers to your child’s unique perception of the event described above — remember, an event that is scary or overwhelming to one child might not be for another child. In this domain, you are looking to understand your child’s potential experience or perception of the event. Some feelings that your child might experience include shame, isolation, betrayal, fear, etc.
Effect
The “Effect” refers to the impact the event and experience have upon your child. The impact can be short-term or long-term and it may come on immediately or show up later. The effect and experience of the event might result in new or increased problems in social or family relationships, changes in sleep, eating, or mood, and difficulties thinking, concentrating, and/or expressing emotions.
Who needs counseling?
Counselling helps you deal with issues like depression, anxiety, stress, and many more. Some online counsellors can help you deal with these issues and overcome them. Anxiety and stress are common issues but when it is persistent, taking the help of a counsellor is not uncommon.
Don't go into any relationship until your traumatic childhood experiences are at their peak.
Heal yourself first and then talk to yourself about whether you are able to connect with someone
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